Peaks of Passion: Pleasure Point Series Book One Read online

  “You’ll do anything?”

  “Of course I will.”

  “Then you will leave me alone. We are done. I’m sorry, honey. It’s wrong. I shouldn’t have let it go this far.”

  “Rosalyn, please?”

  She faced me. “Here’s how this is going to work. I’m driving you home now, and you can never tell another soul what’s happened between us. We’ll have family dinners and be polite, and in time this whole thing will blow over.”

  All the air left my body. I hung my head.

  “I’m taking you home, and I don’t want you coming over my house anymore.”

  She drove, her earsplitting music making conversation impossible, and when I got home, I sprinted into the bathroom, jumped into a hot shower, and cried where nobody could hear me.

  Rosalyn had left me.

  Rosalyn

  I had done the right thing. So why did I feel so empty?

  That afternoon, after I dropped off Jax, I went home and practiced yoga for two hours and spoke in front of the mirror. You are a powerful individual who does the right thing. You are able to draw boundaries when needed. You respectfully communicate your feelings. You are transforming into a better person when on your own. I stood on my head allowing life energy to course through my body. Then I walked to the beach, taking deep breaths of cleansing ocean air.

  In the days after I broke things off with Jax, I started smoking even more pot. I smoked so much pot that I thought my lungs were going to collapse. I threw myself into work where I waited tables for horny old men who grabbed my ass.

  I became involved in the Self Realization Fellowship at their temple in Encinitas, where I participated in silent meditation retreats. Browsing through their program offerings, I even considered the discipline that touted higher consciousness through celibacy. Want to reach your highest spiritual potential? Open your chakras, allow the kundalini energy to rise up your spine, and bloom in your crown chakra, the highest level of illumination. The brochure promised that for those serious about their spiritual growth, the only way to achieve true enlightenment was to bypass the root chakra at the base of the spine—the seat of all sexual troubles and things of the flesh—and move the energy upward, transcending all earthly desires. Life without sex would serve you right. After a few minutes of serious consideration, I’d slipped the pamphlet back into the rack and sprinted down the street to order a double espresso followed by a toke.

  I cooked fresh vegetarian meals and drank wheatgrass, which was touted as a total body detoxifier. I signed up for a series of colonics. The hydrotherapist promised that this would cleanse my internal organs of toxins and my soul of all negativity. Then, I meditated some more.

  But when I lay in bed at night, the moon hanging heavy outside my bedroom window, my eyes stung with tears at the thought of my friend. That’s what we were. I could be myself with Jax. He liked to play and be silly while still having a responsible side to him. He protected and loved me. The guy had grown on me, dammit. I’d lied to Jax when I told him I didn’t care about him. But, how could I have been so selfish as to get naked in front of him and do what I did?

  I had done right by cutting things off.

  I’d lay there on those lonely Point Loma nights in my lonely bed filled with a cold emptiness and tell myself I had done the right thing.

  Jax

  Those two months that Rosalyn and I were separated were the longest, loneliest period of my life. I threw myself into surfing, doing pushups, sit-ups, running, swimming—anything to not feel the pain.

  “How come you haven’t been helping Rosalyn out lately?” Mom asked me one day as I sat in the living room flipping through Surfer magazine. “She says she hasn’t been surfing much.”

  I cringed at the sound of Rosalyn’s name. “Maybe later, Mom. I’ve got homework, and there’s a big swell this week. It won’t be safe for her.”

  Tyler said, “Yeah, how come you’re not surfing with Rosalyn?” His eyes were laser beams focusing on mine as my eyes filled. I swallowed hard and became extra interested in my magazine, but Tyler wouldn’t leave me alone. “You guys mad at each other?”

  My voice was loud when I said, “Waves are too big right now! Okay?”

  Mom said, “Don’t scream at your brother.”

  “I wasn’t screaming.” I threw the magazine across the room.

  Mom stood in front of me, hands on her hips, a worried look on her face. “What is the matter with you?”

  I crossed my arms. “Nothing.”

  “Young man, pick that magazine up this instant.”

  I sat there and shook my head.

  Tyler busied himself with the TV remote. The volume was so loud, it practically shattered my eardrums.

  “Jesus Christ, Tyler! Turn the fucking volume down,” I said, turning on him, my face hot with anger.

  “Jax, I will not have that language in my house. What has gotten into you? Apologize to your brother. Now. And then I want you to pick up this magazine. Just because you had a bad day, I will not have you taking it out on the rest of us.”

  I mumbled sorry. How could I tell anyone what was going on? Not being able to see Rosalyn felt like something weird had happened to my heart. And it felt like I had the flu all the time. My throat was sore, my head hurt and instead of my stomach doing that funny flip-flop thing, I felt like I was going to throw up. The only thing that helped was being in the ocean, the cold water covering my head. I wanted to surf in Alaska or somewhere freaking freezing, just to feel numb.

  When I rode my skateboard to the beach, my surfboard tucked under my arm, I made sure to choose a route that wouldn’t take me by Rosalyn’s house. The thing I wanted most was to see her. And it was also what I dreaded.

  Jamie, the girl who’d been after me at school, always found me in the cafeteria. She’d cram onto the bench next to me with her over-perfumed clothing, then eat her salads with celery and carrot sticks, our legs touching. “Why so blue, Jax?” she asked one day, taking a red acrylic fingernail and touching me under the chin. “Want to go to the beach after school and maybe burn one? I haven’t seen you surf in awhile.” Her eyes with the green contact lenses and too much mascara looked at me without blinking as her hand moved to my thigh, her sharp fingernails tracing lines up my jeans.

  I did not want to burn one or hang out with Jamie. “Maybe another time. Thanks, though.”

  “Your loss, babe,” she said. “If you change your mind about hanging out, I’ll be at the mall this afternoon. They’re having a sale at Victoria’s Secret, and guess what?” She leaned in and whispered, her breath hot, “You might like to take one of those black Angel bras off of me. Maybe take a look at what’s underneath.”

  The thought of seeing Jamie’s naked body did not appeal. I rubbed my sweaty palms on my jeans and smiled. “Thanks, Jamie. That sounds … fun. Maybe another time.”

  She picked up her books, the latest issue of Cosmo magazine on top. Ten ways to have mind-blowing orgasms! said one of the blurbs on the glossy magazine cover, while a pouty brunette super-model smiled at me.

  I did not want to know how to have mind-blowing orgasms with anyone other than Rosalyn. But mostly, I missed my friend, companion, and partner in crime.

  Rosalyn

  One morning, about two months after I’d had the talk with Jax, I woke up and could not get out of bed. I don’t mean that I was paralyzed or having a stroke, but that might have been better than the weariness I felt. Staring at the ceiling, I moved my heavy head sideways, glancing at the clock, which read 10:30. A weight pressed down on my chest, and although the sun streamed through my bedroom window, everything was flat and lacking luster. I attempted a deep breath and panicked because I couldn’t suck enough air into my lungs. Leo jumped on my chest and mewed, forcing me to take a pathetic breath.

  It took every ounce of energy to haul myself out of bed and trudge into the kitchen. My eyes filled with tears when I saw Leo’s empty food bowl. How could I be so irresponsible? “Sorry, littl
e buddy,” I said, reaching down and stroking his soft fur. I filled his bowl with kibble.

  I had class that day, but I hadn’t completed my assignments. Why bother? The floor felt like quicksand as I dragged myself into the bathroom and stepped over dirty clothes strewn on the tile floor. Splashing cold water on my face, I glanced into the smudged mirror. My hair hung in greasy curls, my skin looked grey. Rosalyn, you are a mess.

  I had no interest in my morning bong hit. That was something I was better off without anyway. Wearing the same dirty T-shirt I’d worn to bed all week, I collapsed on my sofa, clicked on the TV and stared like a zombie as reruns of South Park played. I flipped through the channels and stopped on ESPN where footage of big wave surfing was being shown. When I saw the surfers, I burst into a fresh wave of sobs. Get a hold of yourself, Rosalyn. But I could not seem to get a grip. I wasn’t eating healthy, wasn’t meditating, and I was beginning to wonder what the point of life was. The coffee table was littered with fast food wrappers and empty cartons of ice cream.

  God, I missed Jax. It was as if someone I cared deeply about had died, like part of me was gone too. All I wanted was for the world to disappear so that I could pull Jax into an embrace and kiss him. Then kiss him again, feel his body next to mine, and never stop kissing him. I wanted to look into his eyes and feel cared for again, the way he’d always made me feel.

  But I’d broken things off, and it had been the right thing to do.

  Maybe meditation would help me. Sitting cross legged on my ceremonial cushion, I closed my eyes and asked for guidance. When Jax’s face appeared in my vision, an electric shock rolled through my being.

  No!

  Just the thought of seeing him again made my heart swell with hope and happiness.

  What would be the harm? Just see him, and then you’ll know if you really care.

  I couldn’t stop myself. I picked up the phone to call Lydia, my heart pounding with anticipation. She answered, and I tried to keep the trembling out of my voice. “Hey Lyd’s. Can you send Jax over today? I need help with a broken door handle. He’s always so handy.”

  “Sure thing. He left his lunch in the fridge, so I’ll ask him to come by after school when I run it to him.”

  “Great! I mean, that sounds okay.”

  “Are you okay?” she asked.

  “Of course I am.” I twirled the telephone cord so tight it almost broke. “Why?”

  “I don’t know. You sound funny.”

  “Been getting over a cold is all.”

  “Jax hasn’t been feeling great either. Must be something going around. Well, I’ll see if he has plans after school.” She laughed. “He doesn’t like me showing up there. You know how boys are.”

  “Yes. I do.”

  “Okay. I’ll call you back.”

  We hung up, and I exhaled all the nervous energy I’d been holding in. I took a toke from my bong, plodded into the kitchen, poured a bowl of granola with soy milk, and settled on the sofa again. About forty minutes later the phone rang.

  It was Lydia. “Jax’ll be there around three.”

  When I heard the news, adrenaline shot through my system and everything looked sharp; more in focus.

  I forced my voice to sound normal. “Thanks, Lydia.”

  “No problem. Talk to you later.”

  I was going to see Jax again!

  I hopped off the sofa, filled with an energy that I hadn’t felt in, well, in two months. I raced around the house like a woman possessed. I blared Led Zeppelin, the music thrumming through my body and sang along as I swept, cleaned, and threw all my dirty clothes into a laundry bag. I put fresh sheets on the bed, threw out all the food that had spoiled in the fridge, and scrubbed out the toilet and shower. I cleaned the windows and mirrors, dumped out the trash, and emptied the cat box. Then I took a long, hot shower with lavender-scented body wash, and shampooed and conditioned my hair. I dressed in a gauzy skirt and tank top then applied lip-gloss. When I looked in the mirror, I was radiant.

  Finally, I strolled down the street and cut a few red roses off a bush.

  I was going to see Jax again!

  Jax

  I was in front of my school, sitting under a shade tree during lunch break when my mom’s Volvo pulled up.

  She rolled the window down and waved. “Jax!”

  I stood up so fast that I got a head rush. I quickly walked toward the car, hoping that none of my friends saw her.

  “Mom, what’re you doing here?”

  She handed me a brown sack. “You forgot your lunch, honey.”

  I snatched it out of her hand. “Okay, umm, thanks.” I turned to walk away.

  “Wait! Honey, Rosalyn needs you—”

  When I heard the sound of Rosalyn’s name, the earth sank underneath my Vans. I pivoted and leaned my head through the open car window. “Is she okay?”

  “Yes, she’s fine. Think you could drop by after school? Rosalyn needs you to come over and fix a broken door handle. I mean, I don’t know if you have plans—”

  “Yes! I mean, no, I don’t have plans. And yes, I guess I could stop by.” I stood up straight. “Okay mom, I gotta get to class. Thanks for bringing my lunch.”

  She put her car in gear. “Of course, baby.” She waved. I watched her car as it became smaller and smaller.

  Why was Rosalyn calling my mom? I ate half of my sandwich under the shade tree, but I could barely swallow. I somehow made it through my last two classes, but I couldn’t concentrate. The only thought that went through my mind was, Rosalyn needs me.

  After school, I dashed home on my skateboard. I jumped in the shower, put on a clean pair of jeans, brushed my hair, and when I looked in the mirror, I was smiling.

  I got to Rosalyn’s house fifteen minutes before three. And there she was, sitting on the front stoop with Leo in her lap. She looked gorgeous. It got difficult to breathe, and my heartbeat sped up when I saw her wild tangle of blond hair. And her smile.

  “Hi Jax,” she said, her voice low.

  I kneeled down in front of her, trying not to look in her eyes and instead busied myself petting Leo. “Hey little guy. I missed you.” I let my eyes drift to hers. “Do you really have a broken door handle?”

  She stared down at her feet. “No. But thanks for coming over. Want to walk down to the beach?”

  We walked the four blocks in silence, but I was ultrasensitive to everything about Rosalyn. I inhaled the intoxicating sandalwood scent of her, felt the warmth of her body, and listened to every breath she took.

  We stood on the cliff overlooking the ocean, a few seagulls circling overhead, a fog bank on the horizon. I felt the air cool on my skin. Finally, Rosalyn said, “I’ve missed you.”

  Everything in the world stopped. The air felt soft and sweet, the sky looked bluer than I’d ever remembered it, and Rosalyn’s eyes were pools that I wanted to fall into. “Oh God, Rosalyn. Past couple months have sucked.”

  She looked me in the eye. “So, what if we decide to start hanging out again?”

  That was all I wanted. If I could have, I would’ve moved out of my parents’ house and straight into her place, wrapped my arms around her, and never left her side. “I think that’s a great idea.”

  “It’s so beautiful here,” she said, looking at the sparkling ocean. “I’m glad I made the move back.”

  I didn’t say anything, just gazed at her.

  “Why don’t we go home?” she said. “I’ve got something I want to show you.”

  When we got to her place, she lit her ceremonial candles and turned on a mix of romantic Led Zeppelin ballads. I sat on the sofa with Leo on my lap. I couldn’t take my eyes off her as she floated around her tiny apartment like an angel. She moved Leo off my lap. “So, umm … what I was thinking … Oh, screw it. Here’s what I wanted to show you.” She straddled me, put her arms around me, and drew me into a deep kiss. Her mouth tasted sweet and warm; her tongue was urgent. I gripped her hair and pulled closer. My hands were on her back and on her neck an
d on her face and then on her breasts. I wanted to touch her everywhere and didn’t know where to start. I’d spent the past couple of months dreaming of her every night, and now here I was. I forced myself to slow down, to savor the moment. I gazed into her eyes and ran my fingers through her hair. Gently, I traced the line of her chin, and her lips parted slightly. She wrapped her hand around the back of my head and pulled me into her mouth, her kiss soft, then insistent. I closed my eyes and relaxed into this woman who I loved. She shuddered when my fingers slid up and down her waist.

  Her breathing was ragged and she whispered, “Sweetie, I have missed you.”

  “God, do you know how long I’ve wanted you?” I gazed at her through hooded eyes. “Ever since I met you.” My hard-on pressed against her pelvis. She lowered her mouth onto mine again and I lost myself in the warmth of her delicious mouth, her soft tongue. I felt safe and manly with her. I loved Rosalyn.

  We kissed for a few more minutes, and then she broke away, looking at me with those big brown eyes. “Jax, if we decide to go ahead with this, you have to promise me that you will never tell another soul. Ever.”

  My heart pounded, my head spinning with sensations of love. “Oh Roz, I can have a lot of self-control. I would never do anything to hurt you.”

  She stared at me for what seemed like hours. “Promise?”

  “Yes, Rosalyn. I promise.”

  “And you have to promise me that you won’t do anything stupid like say you love me.”

  I did love her. Yet, I would do anything, say anything, or not say anything she needed. “Yes, Rosalyn. I promise.” That was a no brainer.

  “And this whole thing is against my better judgment.” She sat on the sofa again, eying her bong. Pot made her loose, so who was I to argue?

  “Want me to light that for you?” I said, reaching for her lighter. After a deep toke she stretched out putting her legs over mine. She studied me with a small smile. “You’re a virgin but I’m not. I want you to know that I just had my check-up with the doctor the other day and I’m clean. And I’m on the pill.” She wagged a finger at me. “No baby making.”